2002-03-18 -

Screaming Fights

Ugh. I've been doing a pretty good job of sticking to my exercise routine, and I'm definitely building some muscle now. As a result, I have that much more flesh to feel sore when I'm done.

Today was pretty much just work- and mostly meetings, at that, which made it a pretty dull day. On the whole I can live with that. With my social calendar filling up for the rest of the week, one slow day won't kill me. On the downside, I don't want to write a diary about work, so I have to fight hard to come up with something to talk about.

Hmmm... As I ate a late sort-of-dinner, I caught _Children of a Lesser God_ on cable. It was interesting, and well-acted, but either I saw the abridged version or the later parts of the script didn't work for me. The two main characters have this huge fight about him trying to control her, or her trying to control him, and I thought, "Wait, neither one of them ever did any of that stuff! What the hell!"

I then reflected on the fact that I don't think I've ever had a screaming fight with one of my SOs. I virtually never yell at anyone, in fact. I had to sort of mentally work up to it to bring myself to yell at Liralyn- the one time I did yell at her. I've sometimes felt that the women I was dating felt vaguely let down by this, as if I couldn't possibly care if I wasn't willing to yell about it. Then again, maybe not. Most of the women I came anywhere close to yelling at were women I didn't care about. The ones I could connect to emotionally usually saw the danger signs coming.

I think that I can safely just stop writing now that I've completely refuted myself.

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