2001-03-12 - 3:59:47 PM

Junkie

Hi. I'm Outrage, and I'm a PEA addict.

That's the story of this weekend, basically. In layman's terms (and I don't know dick about this stuff, so they're probably the wrong layman's terms), PEA is a chemical in the brain that's responsible for the feeling of infatuation. When you're developing a romantic interest in someone, PEA levels go up. PEA is an amphetamine, so right there the fun is beginning. PEA in turn begins releasing dopamine and oxytocin, which are also fun substances to have running around in your brain.

The nasty biological double-cross is that you only get this sort of fun at the beginning of a relationship. Eventually your brain levels off and you get different chemistry- the chemistry, if you will, of enduring love rather than infatuation.

After I learned all that, I wondered whether Julie and I broke up and got back together twice just to keep the PEA running.

Anyway, we're way past that point now. What with Liralyn in the picture, anything other than sustained love would be pretty stupid.

Recently, through Amber, I discovered that role-playing the beginning of a new relationship also stimulates PEA. I spent more minutes that I like to admit re-reading email of my imaginary character talking to another completely imaginary character and digging the buzz. I think the latest index of mental disorders refers to this condition as "biochemically augmented utter lameness."

Of course, that wasn't my whole weekend. I had lots of other lameness that had nothing to do with brain chemistry. There was the "sleep until 3pm" lameness, when I could have managed to be awake much earlier, and the "sit around the apartment reading when you should be doing stuff" lameness. I finally rallied late Sunday and managed to do six loads of laundry, though, so the weekend wasn't a complete failure.

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