2002-12-05 -

The Blargh Before the Other Blargh

The essence of "blargh" doth consume my very thoughts.

The big layoff happens tomorrow, and I've got no optimism in me right now. Perhaps I'll feel better after it's over, but I'm not totally counting on it. I know we're a very large company and that no one person can make a substantial difference in our fortunes, but nonetheless each downturn makes me feel a little worse about my professional abilities. The general downturn in IT spending means that I'm not going to find a job this good any time soon- so if this is the best job I can get, and it's with a company that's not sure to survive, do I actually deserve this job?

I hate this self-doubt shit. I'm going to go eat ice cream.

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