2001-02-08 - 03:44:31 AM

A Friend to Complain To

I had dinner with my friend Tish tonight. It was nice to see that for once, we're both a places in our lives where things are going well. We both work for the same evil corporate empire, so our souls are probably destined to be consigned to the outer darkness and stuff, but other than that, it's all good.

Ever since I met Tish, I've been powerfully attracted to her. She didn't return the sentiment, which statistically speaking would be the expected outcome. I've always been impressed by the way she handles it- she just doesn't care. It hasn't been an issue lately anyway, but it carries over into other things.

In my experience, men fall for women they're friends with, but women don't fall for their guy friends. I have no idea whether it's socialization or genetics or the will of Isis or what, but it does seem to happen that way. Once it happens, a lot of women become uncomfortable, and they prefer not to deal with it. In not dealing with that, they end up implicitly avoiding any awareness of one of the central realities of male life: Rejection.

Since that isn't a concern with Tish, I feel free to bore her ranting about all the little indignities I've suffered over the years. She hasn't complained, so far. She usually just laughs.

So today, when she mentioned her husband's family being pains, I flashed on a scene from another friend's past. I really wanted to be with this friend, once, but she's never been interested either. It's frustrating to be told "no" by someone who then goes on to be with many other people who are not half the man I am. And in thinking about it, I recalled that frustration and complained bitterly about it.

Like any other good friendship, there's a lot more between Tish and I than that she listens to me complain about certain topics. But it's still nice.

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