The Negative Voice
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2003-06-09 - 5:40 p.m.

Wack Dreams

I had this funky dream last week where Mer used her shamanic magical powers to take the nameless, faceless evil that has been fucking up the planet for years and force it into a body where we could smack it around. (It was a sweet visual, with this gigantic stream of fire sweeping through the Arb and slowly coalescing into a sort of serpent.) The spell backfired, though, because our weapons wouldn't hurt it. Luckily, my man Riff-a-like somehow figured that as a side effect of the spell, certain common household items had gained magical potency and could do some damage. So I, being the resident crackhead aggression junkie, found myself going up against this incarnation of evil with an otherwise ordinary hammer in my hand.

Mer, if you ever decide to use your shamanic powers again, please be more careful. Or at least enchant my AR-15 and ammo stash while you're at it.

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