2002-11-02 -

Essentially Wack

Just got a call from the Arb Ninja, who I thought was going to be out of town this weekend. Suddenly my plan to stay home and work on Liralyn's web site seems like a non-starter.

Congrats to the Michigan Wolverines for destroying Michigan State today. If I had to pick, I'd rather crush MSU and have an otherwise lackluster season than lose to MSU but win a bowl game. Some things are more important than titles.

I had a conversation with a friend this week about her self-destructive tendencies. When I thought about it, I realized that I had almost no such tendencies. The most self-destructive thing I've done since college was casual dating with someone I had no intention of ever getting serious with. If that sounds pretty tame, you've got the right idea.

Anyway, I ascribe that fact partially to my quest to be exactly who am I, all the time. I've had a couple people tell me that even after I did something mean to them, they couldn't hate me, because I was just being exactly who I said I was going to be. To me, that's a hell of a compliment. Given that goal, though, little acts of self-destruction just waste time. If I really wanted to destroy myself, I'd find some TNT. Otherwise I want to be at 100%.

Today I found myself wondering if that same desire to be entirely myself contributes to my inability to write dialog. I can write my own thoughts quite effectively. I can come up with a character and write his thoughts. I don't seem able to invent two characters and make them talk to each other.

Then again, it may just be that I lack essential wack-ness.

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