2001-02-14 - 4:39:03 PM

The Use of Money

Happy Valentine's Day, wankers.

I'm hitting the ground running at work, which makes me feel good about me. Haven't done any actual useful work yet, but I'm talking to lots of people, laying groundwork, barking orders, and generally acting all managerial. Yay me.

In my personal life I'm still ruminating on how to make up some of the time I've lost with friends who are important to me. It's durn hard work. One of the things I talked about with Mer and Julie and Jill on Monday helped drive this home.

I was talking about getting Mer a gift certificate for some rolfing as a birthday gift. (If you don't know what rolfing is, ask Mer. Or do a Yahoo search.) Mer mentioned that she hadn't gotten rolfed yet because of the expense. Thinking in terms of a birthday gift, I said, "So what? It's only money." Mer, who had been thinking of her pocketbook, looked at me like I was from deep in the center of mass of Uranus. Everyone else did more or less likewise.

It certainly would be uncool of me to say that of someone else's money. Mer also looks at me like that when I offer to buy her dinner or something, though, and that I don't understand.

I'm in computers and I've been fairly successful at it. At 28 I make more money than my dad did when I was 14- and I have one wife and two kids fewer to support. I'm able to concurrently save for any number of things while still wasting profligate sums of money on such luxuries as paintball guns. Financially speaking, I'm feeling no pain.

As a result, when my friends say that they can't afford to do something with me, it's second nature for me to offer to cover it. And yet they often don't go for it. This I find confusing and sometimes frustrating, although I certainly understand pride.

Anyway, it's ultimately one of those stupid fables from Dickens. My job and my baby and my girlfriend have eaten a lot of my time and energy and left me mostly with money. (Well, and a wonderful child and girlfriend, but that's not what I'm talking about.) And in trying to keep friendships alive, money is no use whatsoever.

(Later addition: This isn't to say that money isn't a wonderful thing. Money kicks ass. I want more money. I just wish that I could spend money on friends instead of just on material things.)

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