2001-04-18 - 12:15 a.m.

Shut up

Look, don't get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly. Every once in a while I still want to turn her over to her Mom and pretend she never happened, though.

The fact that she's almost potty-trained is just a nuisance. I can cope with it. The trouble today started when someone called my cell phone looking for "Ralph." I told them they had the wrong number and hung up. Liralyn asked who called, and I told her I didn't know because it was a wrong number. End of story, yes?

No. Liralyn thinks wrong numbers exist so that she can figure them out. She instantly began trying to guess who called. When she ran out of guesses, she stopped guessing. She told me that she knew who called, but she wouldn't actually say who. Like clockwork, every ten seconds, she said, "I know who called."

I tried to explain that it wasn't important, that we didn't need to know who called, etc. No go. She was in a groove. It was like a nightmare where suddenly you can't make yourself understood to anyone around you, and they just look at you like you're insane whenever you talk.

I never have that nightmare, actually. But now I don't need it!

Anyway, she did the same sort of thing all night. Nobody was giving *her* any instruction, oh no.

I understand that this is part of the course, all two-year-olds do it, all parents survive it. Intellectually, I understand all that. Emotionally, I want to yell "SHUT UP" at the world right now.

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