2001-04-28 - 5:18 a.m.

Someone Tell Jewel to Shut Up

I've been listening to Jewel's _Pieces of You_ CD this week. On one song, "I'm Sensitive", she asserts that, "It doesn't take a talent/ to be mean." That pisses me off.

Look, little girl, it doesn't take a talent to play golf or drive a race car, either. It takes considerable talent to be Tiger Woods or Fangio. To be mean with style and aplomb requires a level of artistry that I only occasionally capture. And even then, one higher level remains to be conquered. A true genius makes it look easy.

Furthermore, this trite little number seems to suggest that the mean people should just the nice people alone. Feh. Without mean people to point out that the world likes to kick people in the nads, the nice people would wander blithely through the aisles of the fingerpaint stores, always assuming the world was fine, until the next Hitler conquered them.

Being mean for the sake of being mean can indeed hurt a person's feelings. Being nice for the sake of being nice ultimately ignores the reality of the situation. Even if it's mean, someone has to tell Jewel that she has a nice voice, but slightly less philosophical reach and depth than Alvin and the Chipmunks.

She does have nice breasts, though, and that should count for something.

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