2002-10-25 -

Outrage Revisited

I felt my brain slipping into a massive depression jag tonight, fueled by a week where Julie and I have both been ill and Liralyn has been a total brat.

Then I said, "fuck it." I'd been reminding myself not to take the week personally or get worked up about it. Then I decided that since it was me it was all happening to, that ought to count as personal enough. So I decided to spend the night being fuming angry instead. I'd skipped my last two workouts due to feeling ill, but thanks to a little channelled rage, I didn't even fall off my pace.

Looking back at how I felt two hours ago, I wonder how I even let myself get to that state. I'm usually the High Pimp of Selfishness. If a friend's SO treats him or her badly, I'm one of the first to suggest a zero tolerance policy. How did I decide that I wasn't supposed to even get when Liralyn acts like a complete brat three days straight?

To hell with that. I'm mad as hell, and while evidence suggests that I probably will take it some more, I owe it to myself to at least admit that I'm pissed about it.

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