2002-03-12 -

Feel the Rage

I hit some sort of mental wall today. My day was OK- not exceptional, but not especially poor- right up until Liralyn and I got to McDonalds. Nothing happened there, but for some reason my mental state was totally different when I walked out.

To be precise, I wanted to bash the sodden brains out of the whole planet.

That sort of mind-set shouldn't just come out of nowhere, so obviously there's something going on that triggered it. So I think about it and... hey, look, my entire life is made of suspects!

Being a manager at a large telco in the current economic climate? Frustrating.

Raising a daughter? Just a tad, yeah.

Trying to save up money for a house while waiting to see if my SO will get tenure? I'd benefit from an end to that particular state of affairs, you betcha.

And then we get into the finer details, like having no energy to paint or clean the apartment up, my car turning into either a maintenance hog or a scam, and my ironclad rule against actually exhibiting my temper.

When I think about it that way, I guess I'm feeling fine. Frustration is repressed anger, and a big damn bomb is just a repressed explosion, and it's all good that way.

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