2003-08-03 - 4:12 p.m.
My New Resume
Stolen from Mer, who stole it from elsewhere:
Known Aliases: Black-heart Larke, Outrage
Age: For thirty-one foul years now, I've been dreaming of the pirate life on the high seas.
Particular Skills Or Traits Beneficial To The Buccaneering
Sing A Verse From A Pirate Song, me bucko:
I think I shan't, for I'm not yet bucko nor yer damned minstrel. Take me aboard and hand me the papers, or be damned to ye, but look to me not for yer frivilous notions.
Why Should Aye Hire A Mangy Sea Dog Such As Yeh Fer Me Crew?
I'll be bringin' in my share o' loot and more if I'm aboard. I'll be thinkin' the blackest thoughts toward ya if ya sail without me. Shall thee have for a willing hand or a fiendish foe? For it's now you'll be choosin', and never the more.
Do Ye Like Rum?
Only after I've done my pillagin' and the other crimes, for it's best on an empty belly and a powerful thirst.
How Many Full Limbs Do Yeh Have:
Four, or five if she's fair.
Do Ye Follow Orders Without Question? Aye've No Room For Mutinous Scum Aboard Me Ship:
Of a certainty, for such be the basis of order on the ship, and a tight ship the basis of becomin' a fearsome pirate.
When Are Ye Available To Start:
Take me aboard when ye please, for I've never once stopped, if ye catch the cut of me jib.
Know Ye Anything About Cartography:
I know that it's havin' to do with maps, which do strike me as an unnatural contrivance and the work of ol' Scratch.
If This All Be True, Make Yer Mark:
Black-heart Larke, supperannuated corsair