2001-02-04 - 10:51:57 PM

Thinking About Overthinking

Today I've got Other, Shorter Julie on my mind. I know she and Kevin were close, and I'd like to do something to express my sympathy or cheer her up or something. But I'm not.

That's partially because she's with Dwinn these days. Dwinn is a swell fellow and he loves Julie dearly, so it's reasonable to assume that he's got the situation well under control. Certainly all the usual ways to support someone should be covered by now. And as an ex-almost-boyfriend of Julie's, I'm careful not to step on his toes.

I also feel like I've lost face with her and have no way to regain it. A couple years back I needed a lot of support from Julie, and she gave it to me unreservedly until she just couldn't take it anymore. Actually, she probably continued well past the point where she couldn't take it anymore; I was too crazed at the time to pick up on warning signs.

So here I have a friend who I know will go out of her way for a friend. I pushed her beyond that point. How do I make up for that? What is there that I can do for her? She's got less demanding, more giving people in her life.

What a weird irony. My conscience and my sense of consideration for my friends keeps me from reaching out to one of them to offer comfort. Sometimes I think I overthink things.

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