2001-02-17 - 6:57:25 PM

Why My Julie Rocks

So far my plan to spend the weekend sleeping is working. Go, me, go. Of cource, when you do nothing but sleep, it's hard to find much to write about in your diary.

I'm going to cope with that problem by talking about the distant past for a bit. In one of my previous entries, I talked about a discussion that Julie and I had. Since Julie has her right to privacy, I didn't discuss any of what we talked about or how it worked out. And I still won't. But I want to talk a wee bit about Julie anyway.

Even Dr. Drew has remarked that women are the "keepers of intimacy" in our society. Boys spend so much time jockeying for dominance and looking for weak spots in each other that we forget how to be close to people. By the time we're getting interested in girls, their expectations of intimacy are so far removed from boys' that communicating them is almost impossible. The girls wonder why the boys won't talk to them and the boys wonder what on earth the girls *want.*

By college the boys have learned how to be subtle. We don't shut girls out, we ignore them. Most girls I've talked to have at least one relationship where the boy comes up with such great excuses to avoid communicating that the poor female sits there asking herself, "Am I the problem?"

To make things work, sooner or later someone needs to explain to the guy that communication and intimacy and giving are sort of, well, central to the idea of having a relationship. Some people figure this out on their own. In my case Julie sort of had to explain it. She also pointed out that despite popular depictions of romance, no couple is just perfect. Everybody needs to give a little. The fact that your partner wants you to change doesn't make the relationship a flop.

So when I talk about all the tough conversations I have with Julie, don't think I'm complaining. I doubt there's anyone else who could do a better job of being my girlfriend. And even if someone could do a better job, what would be in it for her? :)

Somewhere in there I think I also explained why my female friends outnumber my male friends by about 2:1. Danno and Marc and Eric and Liam all rock, but men just don't call other men and say, "dude, I feel really alone today." We call other men to say "wazzuuuuP?" or "wanna go bust some caps?" When you have weakness to confess, it's chicks every time. Which I guess explains the other, most common reason men talk to other men: to gripe about women.

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