The Negative Voice
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2001-07-04 - 12:29 a.m.

Mr Goddy Lee

Some of you may have noticed that I occasionally say "Thank Ged" instead of "Thank God." It's not a typo. As an atheist, I sometimes feel odd about thanking god, and it's only a small change to instead pay tribute to Mr Geddy Lee of Rush. Geddy doesn't know me from Dustin Hoffman, so it's not like he's personally responsible for anything good that happens to me (well, except for my ability to listen to his music). It's just a sort of harmless idiosyncratic joke.

Or so I thought.

Yesterday I began reading Chaim Stern's Day by Day. Why is a mean little atheist boy reading commentary on the Torah? Because it sounded interesting, and I take Mechaieh's recommendations seriously. Anyway, it contained a passage (whose attribution I am too lazy to look up) commenting on one of the wonders of nature and musing that nothing must be impossible to a God who could create such a thing.

This morning I was listening to Rush's Hold Your Fire album on the way into work. I thought about the rather frenetic bassline and the fact that Geddy Lee can play it while signing lyrics that don't synchronize well with it. I mean, I can sort of play and sing at the same time, but only basslines I know really well, and I always end up putting the emphasis on whatever syllable coincides with the first beat of a measure. But Ged just sails through. He can play a truly difficult bassline so easily he can sing something unrelated at the same time. It amazes me.

So I thought to myself, "If Geddy Lee can do that, nothing is impossible." And I realized that I was bastardizing Day by Day, and apparently I really do worship Geddy Lee.

If the poor man knew, he'd probably want me locked up.

On another note, I've been rereading (in a disorganized, read a few pages from something or other before bed each night way) Robert Crais. He's a talented wordsmith, but what I particularily noticed this time was the way he talks about love. He does it without any trace of self-consciousness. I'm slowly getting to the point in my life where I can do the same thing- Liralyn has helped there- but I can't help but wish I could have done it sooner.

I don't know when I got the idea that needing to be loved was a weakness. I don't feel it anymore. My first breakup with Julie forced me to admit that I needed love and had to make the best of it. Liralyn's need for love is an essential part of the bond between us. So I finally found a little bit of peace on that score. But I shudder to think how much grief I might have avoided if I just got there in 1991 instead of 2001. Yow.

Hey Dichroic? That mention of Liralyn there was a shout-out, just for you. :)

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