2001-04-14 - 5:08 a.m.

Assorted Friday Topics

Whee! Taxes done, checks written, IRS hated. Hey, Cincinnati. My IRS "Service Center" (presumably that's service in the more, er, argicultural sense) stands there. You rioted for something like four days and neglected to burn the most important target of all. Shame! Shame! As a U-M alumnus, I would like to take this moment to remind you all that people in Ohio can't do anything right.

Before the taxes, I spent the evening at the "Welcome Back Nev" party, at which I had considerable fun, and then wrestling with my new Bowflex. I begin to see why they can afford a money-back guarantee. If you want to send it back, you have to disassemble it and pack it up again. Going through all this again, backward, might not be worth the thousand bucks.

I feel weird just having such a thing. I don't give a damn about my body fat ratio, per se. I dislike seeing people's bones through their clothes, and I think Renee Zelweiger looks better with the extra 20 pounds she put on for "Bridget Jones' Diary." But other concerns intruded.

A few years back, I was getting serious paintball skills. Then I put on another fifteen pounds, slowed down, and my never-quite-mad skillz deserted me. The one time I managed to play last year, I felt like a lumbering mammoth or something. I just couldn't match the pace of the game. So now I'm getting serious. I will be pumped. Heh.

For the record, I'd like to express some resentment that I found my favorite sport of all time when I was 24. If I had gotten into paintball at 16, I'd have three times the excellence, *and* a greater chance of being in shape. By 24 my fitness vector sloped downwards. Gar.

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